I had a small mental breakdown in a pumpkin patch

I generally exist more on the anxiety side of the unstable moods spectrum but recently I've been spending a bit more time depressed. Maybe the shift was because the early part of my life was so heavily characterized by depression and suicidal idealization that I've kind of figured out how to deal with it a … Continue reading I had a small mental breakdown in a pumpkin patch

I spent nine months sober and I wasn’t pregnant. Maybe you should, too.

TW: self harm & substance use Who drinks champagne straight from the bottle??? Not that guy. It's the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I'm at my in-law's house, getting my mother ready to move into her own apartment and out of their spare bedroom. The air is cool and as much of a Michigander as I am, … Continue reading I spent nine months sober and I wasn’t pregnant. Maybe you should, too.

The last thing you’ll need to read about voting in 2020

I’m not here to tell you to register to vote. I’m not here to help you find your polling place. Every goddamn app and website you use is already giving you the tools to do both of those things if you haven’t already. Shit, I’ve already dropped my absentee ballot off at my city clerk’s … Continue reading The last thing you’ll need to read about voting in 2020

Too Soft To Live, Too Scared To Die

Against my better judgement, I went to Starbucks. It's Double Stars Day! my notification informed me cheerily. I had intended to go through a drive through - I even thought to myself, "is Google taking me to one with a drive through? Maybe I should check," - but as always whenever I ignore my intuition, … Continue reading Too Soft To Live, Too Scared To Die

Religion, Astrology, and Taking Comfort in “Illogical” Things

Some people have religion. I have astrology. As a child, I was raised vaguely Catholic. I say vaguely because my Uncle Jim and my grandmother D-D took it quite seriously whereas it was pretty much a non-issue at home. However, spending summers at either my uncle or grandma's house meant that for approximately three months … Continue reading Religion, Astrology, and Taking Comfort in “Illogical” Things

Yet another thing about COVID-19!! What a surprise!!!

It's bizarre to think that only a week ago, COVID-19 was a relatively small blip on my radar. I was aware of it but didn't think that it would really affect me personally. Now it's everywhere you look - every business you've ever forgotten you subscribed to has sent an email, schools are closing, store … Continue reading Yet another thing about COVID-19!! What a surprise!!!

The Evolution Of My Panic Attacks

TW: I actually found *myself* triggered as I wrote about this topic which is partially why it's late. This took several sessions to sit down and write. If you are sensitive like me and particularly prone to anxiety/panic when reading specific descriptions of the symptoms, maybe consider skipping this one. At least stay in tune … Continue reading The Evolution Of My Panic Attacks

The Necessity of Boundaries

“Intimacy is impossible without boundaries because if I don’t tell you what’s not okay for me, if I am afraid to say no, then I can’t actually be fully present. I can’t receive what you want to give me because I feel like I need to be dishonest or I have to betray myself in … Continue reading The Necessity of Boundaries