personal · Self Improvement

MANIFEST IT

Happy Solstice, my loves! We’ve finally met the day where the night grows its longest just before we begin trekking back through longer and longer days. I’ve found myself at a place in my life where I actually don’t mind the darkness, the cold, the snow like I used to in my past. Partially due to some practical circumstances: I don’t have to shovel, I don’t have to worry about getting my car stuck in the driveway, and I very seldom have to even clear off the car because I am a full-time content creator. My workspace is five feet from my bed. And I love it being this way. My relationship with winter is now one of a awe-struck observer – I stand at my hotel window and gaze upon the delicate flakes falling down while sipping a piping hot mug of hot cocoa, sucking in one mini marshmallow at a time to sweeten each draught. I am no stranger to isolation; over two years of living on the road and having no one but my cat for company most of the day has taught me to enjoy residing in the quiet alone. Yet I have to admit, when my eyes follow the tracks left in the snow outside my window, I find myself fantasizing about a different sort of future.

In it, there’s a home. Stability. A comfortable office chair to sit at with lumbar support. I never have to remove my graphics card in order to transport my PC. After spending half an hour on the zabuton, I pad downstairs to throw a load of clothes into the washer and I can smell breakfast before I see it. Cassandra smiles at me as she stirs her chorizo gravy and we talk about the recording we’re going to do later. After breakfast, I take the dog for a walk in the Fulton Street Cemetery. The air is sticky and sweet and I think about how great the lake will feel when we go up for a visit this weekend. The AC is so refreshing when we get back, I feel totally re-energized before settling down to write. My second manuscript is almost done; the sex scene is delightful to write and I find myself giggling while my fingers pound it out. I can’t wait to show my literary agent. While tidying my room, I get a great idea for a post on my Patreon and type it into my phone before I forget. Before CJ and I settle down to record, I hear her scream from the other room. I run to see if she’s okay (though this sounds a lot more like a “OH MY GOD NO WAY” scream than one of panic), and she shoves her phone in my face. CORPSE commented on her song and DMed her. We listen to E-GIRLS and lose our minds for a second, the dog zooming around the living room with us, before we settle down and record some of the best content of our lives. We don’t know it yet but it’s going to make us blow up – CORPSE is only the first LA native to notice us. A week from now, we’ll look at homes in LA and for the first time since we started our Zillow habit, it’ll feel more tangible than ever before. Nicholas comes home for a visit and I gush, rubbing his feet while telling him everything that’s happened. We make love and I fall asleep, utterly at peace, before waking up in his arms, the smell of his skin all around me. Life is perfect and only going to get better.

For those who don’t know this about me, I am generally a “speak less of your plans, you’ll get more of them done,” kind of gal. However, I am speaking these words into existence. Today is the Great Conjunction. If you’re not balls deep in astrology like me, tl;dr is that Jupiter and Saturn are not only aligning (in an absolutely visually stunning way, they haven’t been this close to earth in 400 years and we won’t be able to see them like this again until 2080… so, uh, never in my case probably lmao), but they’re doing so in a brand new element for the first time in 200 years. This is the most astrologically significant moment any of us will experience in our lifetimes; if you’re so inclined, I highly encourage you to read about on the incredible Chani Nicholas’ website. It’s time to lay down the blueprints, write the outlines, and make your dreams into a reality. And that’s exactly what I intend to do.

If you’re interested in supporting me on this journey, then I want to draw your attention to a few places. First of all, the Arcana Major YouTube channel. Cassandra has invited me to create videos with her as a friend of the show – we will be publishing videos EVERY THURSDAY starting this Thursday, December 24th. We’ll be releasing variety content every other week, with CJ’s art content and gaming videos in between our variety videos. Go subscribe if you want more laughter in your life because I absolutely guarantee the shit we’ve been recording lately will make you crack up.

This video will be coming out December 31st – make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss it.

I’ve mentioned it recently but if you missed it, I do have a Patreon where I write some of my absolutely best content. Tiers start at only $1 a month, though the $5 and up tiers get more content. If you enjoy this blog and you can spare $1 a month, it would mean a lot to me if you subscribed. Plus, you’ll get access to everything I’ve posted so far so it’ll give you a lot of content to keep you occupied during the upcoming holidays. Some of it is… really pretty fucking juicy, lol. I have several posts about polyamory on there and uh, it’s spicy stuff.

If you’re not subscribed to this blog PLEASE do so! You have no idea how much those numbers help me when it comes to pitching my novel!! You get an email when a new post is up and literally never any other time. The Subscribe button is on the right sidebar of this page, near the top just under the search bar – please, please, please give her a click.

I’ll throw my socials on here as well if you’d like to follow ❤ These are more for my ego than anything but if you like my content, well, you’ll probably like my socials, too.

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/carlykaxt
Twitter – https://twitter.com/carlykaxt
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/carlykaxt/
YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/user/carlykaxt
Twitch – https://www.twitch.tv/carlykaxt
AXM’s Twitch – https://www.twitch.tv/arcanaxmajor (we stream here usually every Friday evening)
AXM’s Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/arcanaxmajor
AXM’s Twitter – https://twitter.com/arcanaxmajor
AXM’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/arcanaxmajor/
LinkedIn – (just kidding)

Oh, and bonus for all two of you who enjoy my Spotify playlists: my MANIFEST IT playlist.

Thank you guys so much for sticking with me, reading these posts, and joining me on this journey. I’m so immensely appreciative of your messages, comments, Likes, and clicks. It’s so nice to scream into the void with you. I hope you have an absolutely blessed solstice, an incredible 2021, and a life as beautiful as you. Next Monday we’ll be talking resolutions so I hope your appetite for dreaming about the future isn’t totally sated yet. I’ve never assigned homework before but I encourage you to spend at least a few quiet minutes today thinking about what it is that you want to achieve – both next year and long term. We can talk about our futures together then c: love you. Stay safe.

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