I begun 2021 by having a lowkey mental breakdown. Yesterday was my first critique with my virtual writing group. My first writing critique ever in fact. I was very nervous but also excited! There's no faster way to get better at writing than to get some criticism from fellow writers. Unfortunately, having been called "prolific"… Continue reading ADHD Trait: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
Author: carlykaxt
The product of childhood neglect; a pretty accurate Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis; a Theravada Buddhist revelation; and an intense desire to express, create, connect: I am carlykaxt. Stay a while and listen.
So long, 2020.
Prior to the dawn of 2020, I had written about the turn of the decade and shared a thought that I think is even more relevant now than it was back then: I’m here with great news. If the “only” thing you did was survive, you’re doing great.OMG IT'S THE END OF A DECADE Should I… Continue reading So long, 2020.
MANIFEST IT
Happy Solstice, my loves! We've finally met the day where the night grows its longest just before we begin trekking back through longer and longer days. I've found myself at a place in my life where I actually don't mind the darkness, the cold, the snow like I used to in my past. Partially due… Continue reading MANIFEST IT
Did you know I have a Patreon?
For the few of you who are subscribed to me here and not on other social media networks, you may not know that I have a Patreon (what, you don't want to read my Sailor Moon tweets, see tastefully edited photos of my extremely adorable cat, Merlin, or react to my mix of memes and… Continue reading Did you know I have a Patreon?
My journey through trauma
CW: trauma, self harm, substance use I was meditating in the tub when I began to find myself drawn to imagining my chakras. I'm going to make the assumption that everyone has a vague understanding of what the chakras are thanks to its westernization by the white women of America (trust me, the irony is… Continue reading My journey through trauma
Buddhism vs. Witchcraft
About three years ago, I began a meditation practice. This practice went hand-in-hand with my burgeoning Buddhism, the particular sect of which I prefer Theravāda. At my core, I am still a Buddhist - I believe enlightenment is possible and that the most direct route to free one from suffering is through meditation. Sometimes I… Continue reading Buddhism vs. Witchcraft
Let’s be selfish together
Have you taken some time to be incredibly selfish lately? The past few weeks, I've been busting my ass finishing writing my first novel and studying for my Information Systems CLEP (College Level Examination Program). Basically it's like testing out of a class for college credit. I successfully passed my CLEP, wrote the conclusion of… Continue reading Let’s be selfish together
Please don’t kill your family.
Anyone who knows me knows that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. The colonial aspect of it is pretty gross and now companies are trying to infringe on its sacredness by starting Black Friday sales on the actual day of Thanksgiving (I can't eat turkey but still, #RespectTheBird ffs), but aside from these influences, the core… Continue reading Please don’t kill your family.
Torn between two desires
Not too terribly long ago, I channeled my inner Gryffindor (RIP JK Rowling), and boarded a plane during a pandemic and flew to the midwest. After quarantining in Indiana, I made my way up to Michigan for my best friend's wedding. Following my two weeks there, I went back down to Indiana to hang out… Continue reading Torn between two desires
I had a small mental breakdown in a pumpkin patch
I generally exist more on the anxiety side of the unstable moods spectrum but recently I've been spending a bit more time depressed. Maybe the shift was because the early part of my life was so heavily characterized by depression and suicidal idealization that I've kind of figured out how to deal with it a… Continue reading I had a small mental breakdown in a pumpkin patch
