depression · personal

I can’t sleep.

Why do memories glow the way real moments don't? I had dinner hours before bedtime. I turned off my PC at 8 PM. I put my phone away at 9 PM. I had great sex. I did deep breathing exercises. I listened to a hypnosis. I listened to rain. I listened to another hypnosis. At… Continue reading I can’t sleep.

depression · mental health · personal · self care

Does this sound like you?

There are dishes covering every open inch of counterspace, filling the sink, stacked on the stove. Three full bags of trash are waiting to be taken out. The laundry lays crumpled in the basket from three days ago - it's laundry day again. There's garbage strewn about the floor. The cat's bowl needs water. We're out of towels. And I can hardly get out of bed. How did it get like this?

Patreon · personal · polyamory

(2019) Quality of Emotion, Part 1

The next time I visited our home town, I found myself autopilot driving to his house. I made myself turn around. The following night I locked eyes with a stranger who could have been his doppelganger. I shook myself. The next day I... thought I saw him walking down the sidewalk. So I allowed myself to zigzag up and down the streets for the duration of one song in pursuit of him. This all culminated in the fateful evening I discussed in my most recent post, featuring Google Assistant and a Venus razor refill. I shot him the classic "wyd" followed by a very embarrassing tangent.

adhd · mental health · personal

ADHD Trait: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

I begun 2021 by having a lowkey mental breakdown. Yesterday was my first critique with my virtual writing group. My first writing critique ever in fact. I was very nervous but also excited! There's no faster way to get better at writing than to get some criticism from fellow writers. Unfortunately, having been called "prolific"… Continue reading ADHD Trait: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

anxiety · buddhism · depression · mental health · personal · self care · Self Improvement · trauma

My journey through trauma

CW: trauma, self harm, substance use I was meditating in the tub when I began to find myself drawn to imagining my chakras. I'm going to make the assumption that everyone has a vague understanding of what the chakras are thanks to its westernization by the white women of America (trust me, the irony is… Continue reading My journey through trauma

personal

Let’s be selfish together

Have you taken some time to be incredibly selfish lately? The past few weeks, I've been busting my ass finishing writing my first novel and studying for my Information Systems CLEP (College Level Examination Program). Basically it's like testing out of a class for college credit. I successfully passed my CLEP, wrote the conclusion of… Continue reading Let’s be selfish together