anxiety · buddhism · depression · mental health · personal · self care · Self Improvement · trauma

My journey through trauma

CW: trauma, self harm, substance use I was meditating in the tub when I began to find myself drawn to imagining my chakras. I'm going to make the assumption that everyone has a vague understanding of what the chakras are thanks to its westernization by the white women of America (trust me, the irony is… Continue reading My journey through trauma

anxiety · mental health

The Evolution Of My Panic Attacks

TW: I actually found *myself* triggered as I wrote about this topic which is partially why it's late. This took several sessions to sit down and write. If you are sensitive like me and particularly prone to anxiety/panic when reading specific descriptions of the symptoms, maybe consider skipping this one. At least stay in tune… Continue reading The Evolution Of My Panic Attacks

anxiety · bpd · mental health · mindfulness

Highly Sensitive Person Alert! HSP IS NOT BULLSHIT!!!

Last summer, I had the incredible blessing of being near home for the summer - to make it even better, Nicholas and I were able to visit our hometown and spend the Fourth of July holiday with our best friends. Looking back on it now, I can better appreciate how blessed we were to have… Continue reading Highly Sensitive Person Alert! HSP IS NOT BULLSHIT!!!

anxiety · mental health · substance use

Mental Health and Medication

In the span of less than seven days, I started a new medication, lowkey lost my mind, stopped the medication, and went back to normal. Brains are funny like that. In the extremely inexact science of antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and more, it's difficult to say with any degree of certainty how each individual will react… Continue reading Mental Health and Medication

anxiety · bpd · mental health · Self Improvement

Mental Health Progress is Not a Straight Line

The past week has been... a ride. It reminded me that recovery is far from linear, and things might set you back, but all you can do is keep moving forward. One of the more notable things that has happened is my recent contact with my ex, Pisces. Our conversations have been cordial with some… Continue reading Mental Health Progress is Not a Straight Line

anxiety · mental health · personal · substance use

The Dark Side of Marijuana (and other drugs I’ve tried)

When I was around 16, I started using the Holy Trinity of introductory drugs: alcohol, nicotine, and marijuana. In the beginning, it was pretty few and far between. When I graduated high school, I had my first of many summers that I would later barely recall due to being in a nearly permanent inebriated state.… Continue reading The Dark Side of Marijuana (and other drugs I’ve tried)

anxiety · buddhism · meditation · personal · Self Improvement

Six Months After My Silent Meditation Retreat

In February, I boarded a plane to Massachusetts and began a nearly week long silent retreat at the Insight Meditation Society. I was at the peak of my meditative practice at this point, sitting every day for usually thirty minutes. Of course, this was nowhere near the minimum eight hours a day I would spend… Continue reading Six Months After My Silent Meditation Retreat

anxiety · mental health

“I caved in” and other harmful phrases used by our internal dialogue

Recently, I started taking Lexapro again a little over a year after I stopped taking them. This time last year, I had tapered off of a 20 mg prescription that I was on for about three years. When I first started taking it, my reasoning was similar to why I started it again this time:… Continue reading “I caved in” and other harmful phrases used by our internal dialogue