About a year ago, I had a husband and a boyfriend. They both knew about one another and I felt like the luckiest woman in the world. Except for when my husband went out on a date with another woman. That day I decided to see what the barrel of a 9mm handgun tasted like.
Why do memories glow the way real moments don't? I had dinner hours before bedtime. I turned off my PC at 8 PM. I put my phone away at 9 PM. I had great sex. I did deep breathing exercises. I listened to a hypnosis. I listened to rain. I listened to another hypnosis. At… Continue reading I can’t sleep.
There are dishes covering every open inch of counterspace, filling the sink, stacked on the stove. Three full bags of trash are waiting to be taken out. The laundry lays crumpled in the basket from three days ago - it's laundry day again. There's garbage strewn about the floor. The cat's bowl needs water. We're out of towels. And I can hardly get out of bed. How did it get like this?
CW: trauma, self harm, substance use I was meditating in the tub when I began to find myself drawn to imagining my chakras. I'm going to make the assumption that everyone has a vague understanding of what the chakras are thanks to its westernization by the white women of America (trust me, the irony is… Continue reading My journey through trauma
I generally exist more on the anxiety side of the unstable moods spectrum but recently I've been spending a bit more time depressed. Maybe the shift was because the early part of my life was so heavily characterized by depression and suicidal idealization that I've kind of figured out how to deal with it a… Continue reading I had a small mental breakdown in a pumpkin patch