"I have trouble interpreting neutral emotions because I don't experience neutral emotions."

This sentence, said aloud to my husband probably around midnight last night, was a revelation to me. We've been together now for just about a full decade and it took me this long to recognize and understand this very fundamental difference between us. I could turn this into a post about borderline personality disorder (BPD); … Continue reading "I have trouble interpreting neutral emotions because I don't experience neutral emotions."

Lloyd.

When I was 21, I tripped harder than I ever have in my life by snorting two hits of 2C-B. It began with Nicholas and I highkey losing our shit (figuratively and literally), then clutching each other on the floor like scared, naked children. After the initial intensity of it was smoothed out (our dealer … Continue reading Lloyd.

OMG IT'S THE END OF A DECADE *GUNSHOTS* *CASH REGISTER NOISE*

Listen, I am a woman who hoards data as if it's a competitive sport. My tendency to meander through old chat logs, screenshots, and Snap stories is unparalleled among anyone I know. It's been somewhat of a journey for me to learn how to let go of the past and just exist in the present. … Continue reading OMG IT'S THE END OF A DECADE *GUNSHOTS* *CASH REGISTER NOISE*

2019 Resolution Review

2019 Resolutions: Hard Copy So you probably already know by now that I'm kind of big into goals. Hell, I made a whole post last December about SMART goals in reference to making resolutions you might actually achieve. I took my own advice of course at applied all those principles towards my very own list … Continue reading 2019 Resolution Review

I have decided to be very candid about my life right now

OR: Is it the BPD or should I be keeping better tabs on my astrology? I don't know but I fucking exhausted, y'all. TW: Self INJURY for real though, my nails are here to stop you in case reading about me cutting might trigger you and cause you to cut. it's not worth it, okay? … Continue reading I have decided to be very candid about my life right now

N O V E M B E R

I have broken one of the only rules I have ever attempted to withhold when it comes to NaNo: don’t delete any words. After writing a paragraph that was part vomit and part garbage, I just couldn’t bring myself to try and work on my novel. Unfortunately, when it comes to distraction, I’m violently susceptible … Continue reading N O V E M B E R

The Dark Side of Marijuana (and other drugs I’ve tried)

When I was around 16, I started using the Holy Trinity of introductory drugs: alcohol, nicotine, and marijuana. In the beginning, it was pretty few and far between. When I graduated high school, I had my first of many summers that I would later barely recall due to being in a nearly permanent inebriated state. … Continue reading The Dark Side of Marijuana (and other drugs I’ve tried)