Anyone who knows me knows that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. The colonial aspect of it is pretty gross and now companies are trying to infringe on its sacredness by starting Black Friday sales on the actual day of Thanksgiving (I can't eat turkey but still, #RespectTheBird ffs), but aside from these influences, the core… Continue reading Please don’t kill your family.
Category: personal
Torn between two desires
Not too terribly long ago, I channeled my inner Gryffindor (RIP JK Rowling), and boarded a plane during a pandemic and flew to the midwest. After quarantining in Indiana, I made my way up to Michigan for my best friend's wedding. Following my two weeks there, I went back down to Indiana to hang out… Continue reading Torn between two desires
I had a small mental breakdown in a pumpkin patch
I generally exist more on the anxiety side of the unstable moods spectrum but recently I've been spending a bit more time depressed. Maybe the shift was because the early part of my life was so heavily characterized by depression and suicidal idealization that I've kind of figured out how to deal with it a… Continue reading I had a small mental breakdown in a pumpkin patch
Too Soft To Live, Too Scared To Die
Against my better judgement, I went to Starbucks. It's Double Stars Day! my notification informed me cheerily. I had intended to go through a drive through - I even thought to myself, "is Google taking me to one with a drive through? Maybe I should check," - but as always whenever I ignore my intuition,… Continue reading Too Soft To Live, Too Scared To Die
I’m tired.
I'm tired of distant communication I'm tired of everyone avoiding eye contact I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of wondering when my life will resume I'm tired of wondering where I'll be a month from now I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of waiting for something to change I'm tired of feeling trapped,… Continue reading I’m tired.
Religion, Astrology, and Taking Comfort in “Illogical” Things
Some people have religion. I have astrology. As a child, I was raised vaguely Catholic. I say vaguely because my Uncle Jim and my grandmother D-D took it quite seriously whereas it was pretty much a non-issue at home. However, spending summers at either my uncle or grandma's house meant that for approximately three months… Continue reading Religion, Astrology, and Taking Comfort in “Illogical” Things
The Necessity of Boundaries
“Intimacy is impossible without boundaries because if I don’t tell you what’s not okay for me, if I am afraid to say no, then I can’t actually be fully present. I can’t receive what you want to give me because I feel like I need to be dishonest or I have to betray myself in… Continue reading The Necessity of Boundaries
Fuck Spectator Society
I’m that person who comments on every Instagram post, responds to your Snap story, and texts you after I read important posts. You know why? Because too many times I have poured my heart out online only to be met by a few paltry Likes or, worse yet, silence. I've been thinking about what I… Continue reading Fuck Spectator Society
“I have trouble interpreting neutral emotions because I don’t experience neutral emotions.”
This sentence, said aloud to my husband probably around midnight last night, was a revelation to me. We've been together now for just about a full decade and it took me this long to recognize and understand this very fundamental difference between us. I could turn this into a post about borderline personality disorder (BPD);… Continue reading “I have trouble interpreting neutral emotions because I don’t experience neutral emotions.”
Lloyd.
When I was 21, I tripped harder than I ever have in my life by snorting two hits of 2C-B. It began with Nicholas and I highkey losing our shit (figuratively and literally), then clutching each other on the floor like scared, naked children. After the initial intensity of it was smoothed out (our dealer… Continue reading Lloyd.
