personal

Too Soft To Live, Too Scared To Die

Against my better judgement, I went to Starbucks. It's Double Stars Day! my notification informed me cheerily. I had intended to go through a drive through - I even thought to myself, "is Google taking me to one with a drive through? Maybe I should check," - but as always whenever I ignore my intuition,… Continue reading Too Soft To Live, Too Scared To Die

personal

I’m tired.

I'm tired of distant communication I'm tired of everyone avoiding eye contact I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of wondering when my life will resume I'm tired of wondering where I'll be a month from now I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of waiting for something to change I'm tired of feeling trapped,… Continue reading I’m tired.

personal

Religion, Astrology, and Taking Comfort in “Illogical” Things

Some people have religion. I have astrology. As a child, I was raised vaguely Catholic. I say vaguely because my Uncle Jim and my grandmother D-D took it quite seriously whereas it was pretty much a non-issue at home. However, spending summers at either my uncle or grandma's house meant that for approximately three months… Continue reading Religion, Astrology, and Taking Comfort in “Illogical” Things

personal

“I have trouble interpreting neutral emotions because I don’t experience neutral emotions.”

This sentence, said aloud to my husband probably around midnight last night, was a revelation to me. We've been together now for just about a full decade and it took me this long to recognize and understand this very fundamental difference between us. I could turn this into a post about borderline personality disorder (BPD);… Continue reading “I have trouble interpreting neutral emotions because I don’t experience neutral emotions.”

personal · Self Improvement

OMG IT’S THE END OF A DECADE *GUNSHOTS* *CASH REGISTER NOISE*

Listen, I am a woman who hoards data as if it's a competitive sport. My tendency to meander through old chat logs, screenshots, and Snap stories is unparalleled among anyone I know. It's been somewhat of a journey for me to learn how to let go of the past and just exist in the present.… Continue reading OMG IT’S THE END OF A DECADE *GUNSHOTS* *CASH REGISTER NOISE*

personal

I have decided to be very candid about my life right now

OR: Is it the BPD or should I be keeping better tabs on my astrology? I don't know but I fucking exhausted, y'all. TW: Self INJURY for real though, my nails are here to stop you in case reading about me cutting might trigger you and cause you to cut. it's not worth it, okay?… Continue reading I have decided to be very candid about my life right now