When I was 21, I tripped harder than I ever have in my life by snorting two hits of 2C-B. It began with Nicholas and I highkey losing our shit (figuratively and literally), then clutching each other on the floor like scared, naked children. After the initial intensity of it was smoothed out (our dealer… Continue reading Lloyd.
The past week has been... a ride. It reminded me that recovery is far from linear, and things might set you back, but all you can do is keep moving forward. One of the more notable things that has happened is my recent contact with my ex, Pisces. Our conversations have been cordial with some… Continue reading Mental Health Progress is Not a Straight Line
OR: Why I'm obsessed with every person i meet I had a revelation this morning that I think I've probably seen before in myself but refused to really look in the eyes. My words exactly, confided to my best friends and now shared with the internet: "Growing up is accepting that my borderline brain will… Continue reading BPD Traits: Difficulty Being Alone & Image Instability
Happy (?) Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Awareness Month, gang! Did you know it's also my birth month? Because of course these things are within the same month c;I had begun to write a nice little "what BPD looks like" post to give you guys some behaviors, thought processes, and tendencies to look out for -… Continue reading Buddhism vs. Borderline Personality Disorder
I felt compelled to sit down and write because I’ve been more suicidal recently than I have been in some time. Last year when I was going through SSRI withdrawal and an enormous upheaval of my entire life at the same time, I was also quite suicidal. I honestly don’t remember if I addressed it directly - it would have been around the time that I started this website. That was a different flavor of nuts. That was almonds, this year it’s cashews.
A friend of mine recently asked me about boredom and quickly losing interest in things for folks with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I figured it was probably related to the depression symptoms of BPD and didn’t think too much about it after that. Recently I’ve started to turn this question over in my head again which I’ll return to in a little bit. First a little backstory.
Relationships are a really murky territory for people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't think I've really talked about "splitting" too much yet. This is a pretty commonly used term to basically describe the wild thrashing between idealization and devaluation that's super characteristic of BPD. People, things, places tend to fall into one of two categories: all good or all bad. There is no in between, no gray area.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is wildly stigmatized in our world. If you've ever read I Hate You - Don't Leave Me, you were probably left feeling very hopeless for either yourself or your loved one with BPD. It's funny to me that this book is considered the "go to" for therapists and other mental health professionals. It's spookily accurate at times, to be sure, but incredibly devoid of any glimmer of hope for recovery. In fact, since BPD is a personality disorder, there is no true recovery - your brain has been marred by abuse during formative years and as such will always bear those scars - but this does not mean there is no overcoming it.