Lloyd.

When I was 21, I tripped harder than I ever have in my life by snorting two hits of 2C-B. It began with Nicholas and I highkey losing our shit (figuratively and literally), then clutching each other on the floor like scared, naked children. After the initial intensity of it was smoothed out (our dealer … Continue reading Lloyd.

Happy New Year! Diet Culture Still Sucks!!

TW: discussion of eating disordersIn a sea of unavoidable "omg I'm gonna eat nothing but bananas and lose, like, so much weight!" posts during this time of year, let me be the light of common sense. Or at least some kind of rebellion against hating yourself so much that starving seems like a good idea. … Continue reading Happy New Year! Diet Culture Still Sucks!!

Mental Health Progress is Not a Straight Line

The past week has been... a ride. It reminded me that recovery is far from linear, and things might set you back, but all you can do is keep moving forward. One of the more notable things that has happened is my recent contact with my ex, Pisces. Our conversations have been cordial with some … Continue reading Mental Health Progress is Not a Straight Line

BPD Traits: Difficulty Being Alone & Image Instability

OR: Why I'm obsessed with every person i meet I had a revelation this morning that I think I've probably seen before in myself but refused to really look in the eyes. My words exactly, confided to my best friends and now shared with the internet: "Growing up is accepting that my borderline brain will … Continue reading BPD Traits: Difficulty Being Alone & Image Instability

The Dark Side of Marijuana (and other drugs I’ve tried)

When I was around 16, I started using the Holy Trinity of introductory drugs: alcohol, nicotine, and marijuana. In the beginning, it was pretty few and far between. When I graduated high school, I had my first of many summers that I would later barely recall due to being in a nearly permanent inebriated state. … Continue reading The Dark Side of Marijuana (and other drugs I’ve tried)

“I caved in” and other harmful phrases used by our internal dialogue

Recently, I started taking Lexapro again a little over a year after I stopped taking them. This time last year, I had tapered off of a 20 mg prescription that I was on for about three years. When I first started taking it, my reasoning was similar to why I started it again this time: … Continue reading “I caved in” and other harmful phrases used by our internal dialogue

Barely Holding It Together

The past 24 hours have been... immeasurably difficult. Last night, I had a panic attack after having some very uncomfortable and never-before-felt chest pain out of absolutely fucking nowhere. I took my blood pressure and the measurement was the highest it's ever been - like, cardiac event high. This, unsurprisingly, scared the shit out of … Continue reading Barely Holding It Together