Have you taken some time to be incredibly selfish lately? The past few weeks, I've been busting my ass finishing writing my first novel and studying for my Information Systems CLEP (College Level Examination Program). Basically it's like testing out of a class for college credit. I successfully passed my CLEP, wrote the conclusion of… Continue reading Let’s be selfish together
Not too terribly long ago, I channeled my inner Gryffindor (RIP JK Rowling), and boarded a plane during a pandemic and flew to the midwest. After quarantining in Indiana, I made my way up to Michigan for my best friend's wedding. Following my two weeks there, I went back down to Indiana to hang out… Continue reading Torn between two desires
I generally exist more on the anxiety side of the unstable moods spectrum but recently I've been spending a bit more time depressed. Maybe the shift was because the early part of my life was so heavily characterized by depression and suicidal idealization that I've kind of figured out how to deal with it a… Continue reading I had a small mental breakdown in a pumpkin patch
Against my better judgement, I went to Starbucks. It's Double Stars Day! my notification informed me cheerily. I had intended to go through a drive through - I even thought to myself, "is Google taking me to one with a drive through? Maybe I should check," - but as always whenever I ignore my intuition,… Continue reading Too Soft To Live, Too Scared To Die
I'm tired of distant communication I'm tired of everyone avoiding eye contact I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of wondering when my life will resume I'm tired of wondering where I'll be a month from now I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of waiting for something to change I'm tired of feeling trapped,… Continue reading I’m tired.
I have broken one of the only rules I have ever attempted to withhold when it comes to NaNo: don’t delete any words. After writing a paragraph that was part vomit and part garbage, I just couldn’t bring myself to try and work on my novel. Unfortunately, when it comes to distraction, I’m violently susceptible… Continue reading N O V E M B E R
tw: abuse, neglect, rape When I was eight years old, I walked into the downstairs bathroom to use the toilet. As soon as I opened the door, I was hit with a smell so fucking pungent that recalling it now leaves a taste on my tongue. Crumpled on the floor was my father’s jeans and… Continue reading Daddy Issues
When I was in junior high and high school, my mother gained herself quite a bit of admiration from many of my friends. “Fucking Phyllis,” they used to say and laugh when I told them something wild she said. “I love your mom, dude.” So did I. She was the one who instilled a healthy… Continue reading Yeah, we’re getting older. So are our parents.
Hello. I haven't written a new blog post in a while so I felt the need to give a little update here. Most of my writing energy has been consumed by NaNoWriMo but a part of it is also that I've been really very happy and content with my life lately. It's funny, depression/anxiety/etc was… Continue reading A Brief History of My Universe
On May 20th, 2016, my best friend of eight years passed away suddenly. We were on our way to the doctor because she had some unusual blood spots popping up under her nose. Unsure of why this was happening, we walked to the office together. Usually she was totally down for the four block stroll,… Continue reading I’m Sorry For All The Times I Ignored You (and other thoughts on grief)